Saturday, May 19, 2012

That thing between your two ears

Well, it's been a good long while since I wrote one of these things... blog post?  Is that what they're called? 

I honestly can't promise that I'll be consistent, I haven't in the past so why would I be now?  BUT I would like to be.  Goal is one post a week, so we'll see.  Maybe it's just me but trying to gather all my scattered thoughts and brief moments of insight into a concise post is not the easiest thing to do.

If you're wondering, I'm still obsessed with running.  I've finally gotten to the point where I'm not as vocal about it and don't feel the need to post every single mile I run on facebook.  It's sad that not posting running mileage on facebook is a proud accomplishment for me.  But I've finally kind of gotten over that excitement that I had a few years ago when every long run was a new distance that I had never run before or even imagined myself running.

I'm not saying that running isn't exciting for me, but it's become kind of more a private excitement for me.  It's something that I love but it's not something that I need to share with the whole world anymore.  It's for me and for my enjoyment.

With that said, I'm sure it will still appear in my blog, but I'm hoping to (usually) keep it to a picture and distance/time, none of this talking about it for paragraphs and paragraphs.  I know that gets old :).

So, today I wanted to talk a little bit about that thing between your two ears... yeah, your brain.  Last night I went to bed early really excited about running.  I had randomly planned an 18 miler.  No, I'm not training for a marathon (yet, still have a few months before that starts) I just wanted to run 18 miles, cause I can.  But when I woke up this morning, feeling completely rested and not sore for some reason I didn't even feel like running 1 mile.

I looked out of the window and noticed it was grey and cloudy and quickly thought about skipping long run Saturday for a week.  After checking the weather and discovering that there was a 10% of rain throughout most of the day I decided that wasn't really an option and I needed to get out of my head about whatever it was that was making me not want to run and just get out there.

See, after a few years of running I know that even when I don't feel like running at all, once I'm out the door the battle is mostly won.  Within 1-2 miles I usually perk up and enjoy a nice long run.  And if I don't end up perking up, I can turn around and I've at least done 4 miles.

I guess what I'm getting at is that I've discovered that most of my "I don't want to do this, I can't do this" is all in my head.  I've learned to conquer my mental battle where running and exercise are concerned and I'm beginning to do the same in other areas of my life. 

I was talking to a good friend a couple days ago and she was surprised to hear about some of my insecurities, telling me that the person I presented to the world was strong, confident and sure of herself.  It's weird to think that others only see the girl who is unsure of herself if I let them.  The battle that takes place in my head will only continue to get easier and easier each time I am successful in putting down thoughts that don't belong there.  Insecurities are only as big as we let them be and whatever doubts we have about our abilities are probably mostly all in our heads.  We really are capable of so much more than we believe of ourselves.

Get out of your comfort zone, keep growing

Get out of your comfort zone, keep growing

That's where life happens.  And I want to experience some life.

Post run sweaty goodness.  I believe I was trying to show you my shoe.  Great camera skills I've got there. 

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